i still stand by the oitnb fusion idea but any prison au, good god.

pretty light getting scouted on his first day as ‘high value property’ but dissuading any further advances when he stabs someone in the hand during art time with a colored pencil for grabbing his ass without blinking and maintaining a pleasantly distanced expression the whole time

L being in charge of the smuggled goods and underhanded services racket but completely anonymously and even though everyone knows mello and matt deal for someone higher up who’s in charge, no one can figure out who it is, and no one bothers to consider the sketchy loner guy who only takes jello from the lunch line and looks like a recovering meth addict

B as L’s muscle who takes out rivals and arranges “accidents” behind the scenes, but in the meantime distracts by putting the spotlight on his constant outbursts and antics and basically getting thrown in solitary constantly where he just masturbates a lot and recites ancient greek poetry loudly to annoy the guards

and misa is a counselor who is notorious for playing favorites (and by “playing” i mean fucking) who decides yagami should be moved into her division. takada is the overworked warden who lets her get away with it because she has skewed ideas about it being okay because “they’re men, of course they like it”

and mikami is the overly strict guard who is disgusted by everyone around him, except good natured fellow guard touta matsuda, who he just feels pity for